Shortly after hearing that K.T. Ligesh hanged himself, I pulled a mirror copy of his blog anticipating his domain expiring with no one around to renew it and it has. You can find the archive here, from 2007 up until his last post. For those of you who don’t know him, he was the author of many programs used in the web hosting industry. Some of them have become open source since his passing.
Some of you may ask why I preserved this. Mostly, I found his writing to be intelligent, provocative and interesting. He was a man with a grudge against god and a love / hate attitude toward women while in possession of something that passed as a seemingly rational mind. Why should I not archive his writing? I don’t endorse his protracted sojourns into what usually resembles resentment, I simply find them interesting. What causes such a brilliant person to do what he did? Maybe the answer is in there, maybe not. All I did was preserve it.
Note that the search form is not going to work, I’ll replace it soon with something that will. Obviously any comment form will enjoy the same handicap. I have not altered any page or any text, its just as it was the day after he died. Here is an excerpt of one post, coming from someone obviously a little socially inept, but seemingly quite sane (what programmer does that NOT describe?):
It is 3:30 AM. I am dropping my date back to her place. I stop the car, and said: “out”.
But she refused to budge.
“I need fortwin”, she says.
I told her that while I have no issues with people’s lifestyle regarding painkillers, I am not very keen on being the facilitator for someone’s drug binge. As for me, my father has had a life long addiction to painkillers and alcohol, and I don’t even ever remember talking to him without him being high on some chemical. In fact, his own patients have told him that they prefer him drunk rather than sober. He suffers from clinical depression and when sober he wouldn’t open his mouth and is extremely pensive. Lightly drunk, he is quite jovial and a really interesting personality, so it is little wonder that his patients prefer him drunk.
What I mean is that I avoid drugs or alcohol for the same reason I don’t watch TV or movies. I don’t find the experience pleasurable. If I one day find a chemical that I actually like, I might take it up, but as for now, my reaction to the entire gamut of mind altering substance is a big ‘meh’. I have indeed tried most of them once, but found the experience to be less than enthralling.
She started pleading. “I won’t be able to sleep without it”.
We argued for a while, and finally I realized that I had no choice here, and I took her to the nearest hospital looking for a medical store.
We were a real pair. Between us, I looked as if I was high at that particular time itself on an entire cocktail of drugs, while my date appeared as a sweet, innocent, angelic girl who was just tagging along with me, when the reality was that I am an uncompromising teetotaler who doesn’t even drink beer, while she was a complete psychopath whose hands are visibly bruised due excessive number of needle holes.
Unfortunately, the medical store turned out to be manned by one of those stereotypical schoolmaster types — the kind of guy who play schoolmasters in old movies, the kind of guy on whom the kids would always play successful pranks.
But we were still optimistic. I stood nearby, while she approached to the counter.
Its worth reading if you have the time.